01
May
12

Weeping Shall Endure

Yesterday, I received a letter from our insurance company denying coverage for Drake’s next Synagis shot. The reasoning given was that the season ends in March and giving the shot outside of the season shows no benefit. However, I can go to the RSV tracking system on the cdc site, and see that while cases are declining our region is still not done with it due to a late onset.

http://www.cdc.gov/surveillance/nrevss/rsv/state.html

The secondary reason was that as a preemie of 29 to 30 weeks gestation, he doesn’t really need it anyway. Excuse me? So now, I’m waiting for the pediatrician’s office to call me back. They have a special person on staff to deal with appeals like this.

The whole thing came after a night of nonstop crying due to gas and reflux. So I was exhausted anyway, and I just lost it. I was washing and sanitizing bottles and having a nervous crying fit. All that runs through my head is the pictures of infants who have had it I’ve seen on the literature for Synagis and RSV.

I don’t think I have the strength to endure another NICU stay for Drake. And you’d think the stupid insurance company after spending half a million or more dollars on his first stay would want to pay a paltry $1k to keep him from going back.

One thing that got me through his first stay and going every day to the hospital and leaving alone was a mural at Good Sam. When you come into the hospital on the 5th floor from the parking garage and make the right to take the elevators to the 9th, there’s a mural. It’s done in bright yellows and blues and it has that verse. Weeping shall endure for a night, but JOY will come in the morning.

And I have to keep telling myself that every day.

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February 20th, 2015

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