Posts Tagged ‘parenting

30
Mar
16

Just One of Life’s (Embarrassing) Moments

My husband left yesterday morning for a business trip. He’ll be back on Friday. The night before, he decided that he needed a couple extra polo shirts and some undershirts and socks. We headed to Kohl’s.

D had skipped his nap, so he fell asleep in the car seat as soon as he was strapped in. We shopped and he woke up about the time we were ready to check out. A quick trip through the toy aisle so he could just “see” and we were ready to go.

D’s in a “helper” stage and wants to be involved in everything. Kohl’s has these really deep shopping carts with a kiddie seat. We had thrown the socks and undershirts in the bottom, and lay the shirts across the top. I bypassed the polo shirts laying on the top of the cart to get the undershirt package that was laying in the bottom. Right when I was coming up with the shirts. Drake yanked up on the polos. So when you fish, the hook catches the fish. I think I know what that feels like now.

That metal coat hanger went up my left nostril and stuck there because the end was sharp. I immediately tried to carefully remove it,, streaming blood, and as visions of going to the ER with a hanger on my face danced in my mind. Luckily, it came free. I’m streaming blood from my nose trying not to get it anywhere and trying not to freak out. Drake is screaming, scared and my husband is telling me to head to the bathroom.

The lady behind me hands me a wad of tissues to hold on my face as I trek 10 miles from the registers to the back of the store where the restroom is located. A bit of pressure, a good washing, and a cold rag later and I was good to go.

I came out to my husband waiting for me because he had no way to pay for the goods. I had his wallet and phone in my purse since he had tried on some clothes. The second trip through the register went much better.

I called my mom (she’s a RN) and asked what was safe to clean and treat the inside of my nose. She gave me some instructions and finished with the parting advice to never underestimate how quickly a little kid can execute a take down.

One of my friends said she hoped I wouldn’t be offended if she got him a fishing pole next year for his birthday. He’s already got one, and I guess all that practice casting the little weighted fish has paid off.

 

 

15
Mar
16

Don’t Tell Me It’s “FINE”

He’ll be fine.

It’ll be fine.

My daughter only weighs 5 pounds more than him and she’s FINE.

I knew someone with clubfoot and he’s fine.

My preemie was never in isolation and she’s fine.

FINE. FINE. FINE.

Yeah, he’s mostly fine. I am not fine. This may turn out to be nothing. I hope to God and all the other powers that be that it turns out to be nothing. But if it is something? What then?

Someday, I will learn that when an acquaintance asks me how I am the truth is almost never a good idea.

“How are you today?”

“Ok.”

“Aw, it’s a pretty spring day. Why are you just OK?”

Because I’m waiting to hear if my child has a serious condition and the specialist appointment is still 3 weeks away. Because, I just don’t feel fine today.

I need to let it go. I need to stop the negative cycle so I don’t beat myself up when (hopefully) everything is fine.

The difference between me and some other moms out there? There have been 4 (5 if you count the scary pregnancy) years of moments when a ton of crap wasn’t FINE.

Because I actually like and respect this person, I went with a bit of truth. (mistake)

“Because we have to add a specialist from Children’s to Drake’s care team…again.”

Then, I had to give more of the story than I really feel like telling. I really want to be that optimistic mom, the one who is unshakable and believes the best until the worst is confirmed. Unfortunately, being positive is something I suck at.

To top it off, he only ate about 300 calories yesterday. GRRR.

Poor blog, I only feel like journal-ing when I’m “sad mad.”

 

19
Jun
12

Smile

Tomorrow Drake will be 4 months old, 7 weeks adjusted. Lately, I have been longing to see him smile. I know that all babies do things in their own time and that is doubly, triple-y true for preemies, but I want to see him smile at me.

I know another new mom. She was due 3 days after me and had her son at term. I think she’s awesome and her little boy adorable, and she’s had her own things to deal with. But…it’s hard to watch what could have been so often.

To just have “new mommy” worries, and not medical ones. I’m so scared that I’ll miss something with his hernia, or not feed him just right and cause another reflux-i-sode. Or that I’ll use his braces incorrectly and he’ll have to start his clubfoot treatment again.

I want to let go of the feelings of doubt and guilt from going into labor so early. I didn’t have any infections or signs of pre-eclampsia. Why did my water randomly break. Maybe if I just had the answer?

So smile for Mama, little one. Each day that I spend with you makes me forget the guilt, the worry, and the fear. Each day I watch you fight your battles so effortlessly and with such a patient nature for a wee man makes me fight to be happy and find that new normal for you.




Drake’s 3rd Birthday

February 20th, 2015

Twitter Updates

Error: Please make sure the Twitter account is public.